Forrest Gump Explains Mortgage Backed Securities

Mortgage Backed Securities are like boxes of chocolates.

• Criminals on Wall Street stole a few chocolates from the boxes and replaced them with turds.


• Their criminal buddies at Standard & Poor rated these boxes AAA Investment Grade chocolates.


• These boxes were then sold all over the world to investors.


• Eventually somebody bites into a turd and discovers the crime. Suddenly nobody trusts American chocolates anymore worldwide.


• Hank Paulson now wants the American taxpayers to buy up and hold all these boxes of turd-infested chocolates for $700 billion dollars until the market for turds returns to normal.


• Meanwhile, Hank's buddies, the Wall Street criminals who stole all the good chocolates are not being investigated, arrested, or indicted.

Mama always said: "Sniff the chocolates first, Forrest".

The Tuth about the Cars in the Barn

In case you have received an email about someone in Spain buying property and finding a barn full of valuable cars here's the real story. The cars are real, but the story isn't quite true.

http://www.snopes.com/photos/automobiles/barnfind.asp

A Better Investment Plan

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you will have $49.00 today.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you will have $33.00 today.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you will have $0. 0 0 today.

But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for a recycling refund, you will have received $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle. It is called the 401-Keg.